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But I want to lay these out first -- because they're so vital to solid message writing -- and we'll get into the "whys" and the "hows" in a moment.

I was going to write about something else today -- I have a couple of big-concept posts I've been meaning to write up and get around to -- but, heck, the last post I put up was a big-concept post so I figured let's have a quick breather from that and get something a little lighter up first. I've been all too guilty of this myself -- sending super-long messages.

"A good online dating email should have four components: a greeting, an attempt to establish a connection, a request to chat and a closing.1. As I discuss in , good manners are often lacking in today's email and texting culture.

By greeting him by his name, his handle or by simply saying "Hey there," you stand out and show that you're polite and respectful.2. Online dating involves looking at tons of profiles and interacting with complete strangers. Instead of sending a generic, impersonal message, try to establish a connection with him, to interest him beyond your profile or the thousands of other women he's checked out. Does his secret love of science fiction strike a cord in you?

and, in fact, get you exactly what you want: responses, phone numbers, dates, and success.

These guys have have tens of millions of users each…and that’s just the beginning.

Accept that dating online will involve some chasing.

If you find someone who catches your eye, send an icebreaker or a friendly email.

This topic came up as I got to an email from a reader. And what I found was that I was often disappointed -- I'd put all this time and effort into a monster of a message, and then... There are a bunch of lessons I eventually took away from those experiences that I'll share with you today.

A very well-spoken and clearly an educated guy, he sent me a message detailing a situation with a girl he knew... The basic gist of today's post is, basically, that this -- what we're about to talk about -- is how you write online dating messages and emails that don't get ignored...